Today…

My daughter is having her friend over after school.  These two never make good decisions together.  They have been BFF’s for more than half their lives and both her mother and I hesitate to get them together outside of school because of the trouble they create.  Today I am going around my house to make sure there are less things to invite them to do bad.  As I was looking around the house yesterday  (especially the upstairs) I realized we are in no shape to have a guest, and next weekend we are having house-guests overnight. 

I have been so focused on the main floor (and I still have the office to deal with down there) that the upstairs has taken a beating.  This should be time well spent.

I also am bringing the ugliest, messiest mass of cupcakes in to my daughters school for her half birthday.  She wanted to decorate them herself and she used sprinkles and frosting to make 50 little works of Lily art.  I have already let her teacher know I am sorry.  His response was that he would make a big deal of it because he likes it when kids take the initiative.  I thought that was sweet.

Last but not least I am getting my neck adjusted again.  Apparently the re-model of the bathroom set my second vertebrae out more than it has ever been (and that is saying something) causing me neck pain and headaches.  I had it adjusted on Wednesday so today is a follow up to make sure it is back in place for the weekend. 

Yesterday I went down to the Uof M Children’s hospital with a friend of mine for an assessment of her son.  The facility is beautiful, but I can say I was so thankful to not be there for anything more serious for my friend, and I hope to never have to visit there with my children.  Just that 90 minute visit really put lots of stuff into perspective about thankfulness.  I picked up my kids from school and gave them a hug and told them I love them.  That is not something I remember to do every day.   While my almost 11 year old son is an awkward huger…I will keep working on it :)              

Off to clean!

Missing the little things.

I normally get at least 2 calls a week to sub and this year I had not gotten any.  None.  I thought I had done something wrong the last time I subbed and I might never sub again.  I was sad.  I LOVE subbing.  I love the challenge of the kids, the learning of the information I am teaching (long division anyone?), the social aspect of the lunch room (teacher lunch rooms, especially high school, are the best). 

I focused my energies on the house, doing the deep cleans that take days, tackling the half bath in the main floor that I have wanted to paint ever since my daughter wrote her name next to the toilet in something that even magic eraser couldn’t get off.  I even stopped listening for the phone to ring starting at 5:00 in the morning.  I was feeling very good about what I had accomplished, but I missed my outside interaction. 

Today I finally called to see what the problem was.  I wanted to face it head on and see if I could fix it.  Turns out it was a super easy fix.  Some computer situation that had reset at the beginning of the year.  Done. 

Of course now I have mixed emotions because I don’t want to stop my quest to organize my home, but I need to figure out a way to continue with intermittent interruptions.  This will be my quest going forward. 

I also need to get my (expanding) butt back to the gym!  I have been so physically busy with the house that I haven’t had the energy for the gym, but I am going to get back on that!  Feb 27^th my husband and I are starting p90x2 and I would rather ease into it than have that crazy soreness that comes with butt kicking workouts straight off the couch. 

I have to say that I am thankful for the things I have done well on this year.  Two new items, both less than $50(together) is a major accomplishment for me.  My declutter quest is going so well, I am keeping the budget up to date and keeping our spending in check and my eating has been healthier than it would have been last year at the same time.  To make so many changes at the same time I knew would result in some setbacks.  I don’t see them as failures, but as opportunities to improve:)

Now, to help my mind and my budget, I need to get back to work!

A ball rolling down a hill…

That is how I view yesterday.  First, I bought something new.  I will incorporate it into the story so you see my thought process, but now, as I look back, I can see where I should have waited. 

I woke up in the morning all excited to finally clean and liquid gold all the woodwork in my kitchen, banister and office (French) doors.  I got one bank of cabinets clean and the bottom half oiled and I went to the bathroom in our half bath.  We have had this crappy, builder grade towel holder in that bathroom that would no longer grab the ring so the ring falls off every day leaving the towel and the ring on the floor.  It has been driving me crazy.  I was going to go to the re-store to see if I could find a towel bar, but then I decided to look up, on line, some interesting ideas.  In my looking I saw a knob towel holder and I remembered that a couple of years ago my MIL gave me a Hot water knob on a piece of wood.  I surprisingly knew right where it was and I set about getting the old towel holder off the wall. 20 minute project right?

Turns out whoever installed the towel bar striped the screws putting it in and installed it snuggly on a stud.  That resulted in my breaking a hammer and destroying the wall to remove it.  I realized I had to spackle the wall. Well then I was going to have to paint it, but I don’t own any of the builders butter yellow so….what to do?  I HAD to go get some paint!  Since I was going to Saginaw anyway, I went to the re-store.  There I found a toilet paper holder and a sweet light fixture for $16 for both.  I was on my way!  I went to the Home Depot and I was picking out all of the things I needed to paint the bathroom and I saw a faucet for the bathroom on clearance for $30 in chrome.  My current faucet is gold, builder grade, with that clear knob on the top that NEVER looks clean so I bought it.  In retrospect I could have waited to see if I could find something at the re-store and to talk it over with my husband.  This mindset is dangerous for me.  I get tunnel vision and I don’t think about my larger goals, I just see the my current small goal. 

It’s funny because that morning, I really wanted to go to the re-store to see what I could find for a towel holder and I decided that I needed to wait until I was going to Saginaw anyway and what did I have that I could use?  It was totally right minded in the beginning, but when it started to go bad, as home improvement often does, I lost it.  I should have waited. 

Today I paint and get the sink fully installed.  What did I get myself into?

New week...new prospects!

I have a whole list of things I want to complete this week.  First, after cleaning out every single cabinet and drawer in the kitchen, I am going to wash them down with the old Murphy’s oil soap and then Liquid Gold them.  Also going to give that royal treatment to the banister for the main stair case.  I can’t remember the last time I did that and it is so desperately needed.  I also want to get to the restore store in Saginaw to look for a new (to me) towel holder for the half bath.  The one I have is broken and every time someone uses the towel it falls apart.  If I can also find a toilet paper holder so much the better.  On that same note I would like to get to the Home Depot and purchase some Oil Rubbed Bronze spray paint so I can do some painting of the brass/gold accents in our home that have been driving me crazy for the last 5 years.  Then I plan to do some spraying!  While I am in Saginaw I plan to hit some thrift stores to see what treasures I can unearth. 

It’s funny, when new things were on the table I would not bother with the stuff I am talking about today (door handles, fixtures etc) because I would think that I want new and until I can get all new I won’t bother…and I would never bother.  With new off the table I am looking for ways to improve the things I have that are functional, replacing with used the things that aren’t and giving all new life.  It’s a different mind set and one I actually prefer. 

On Thursday I am going to go down to Ann Arbor with a friend for some therapy for her son, lunch and probably a trip to Trader Joes.  I don’t need a ton of stuff, but I will appreciate a visit.  It’s like a breath of fresh air to get to a big liberal city! 

I would like to get called in at least one day this week.  It’s been over two weeks since I have subbed and I am starting to feel like I need to work again. 

If I get a chance I plan to clean out the hutch in our living room.  It is FULL of DVD’s (most of which are so scratched we never watch them) CD’s (who uses those anymore?) and general crap that just needs to go. 

Next week I plan to clean out and organize the furnace room.  It is the only true storage area in our home and I have started using it as a place to store things I want to take to the cottage, things for the kitchen I don’t use all the time (icecream maker, large crockpot, George Forman grill etc) and keepsakes for the kids and I.  It also houses old paperwork (every mortgage we have ever closed…and that is a lot!).  I am not looking forward to doing it, but I am looking forward to having it done. 

So let’s get this party started right!  Happy week everyone!

How would things be…

I sometimes think about how simple my life would be without kids.  My husband and I could live in any neighborhood, regardless of schools,  parks, or “extra space” in the house.   We could travel like we used to, taking the bump to a later flight along with the incentive to do it from the airlines so that our next trip is relatively inexpensive.  I could drive a small, fuel efficient car and not worry about how many outlets and cup holders there are in the back seat.  Generally speaking we would have more money.  The clothing, food, extracurricular activities, bigger house, bigger car/van, the furniture that takes a beating every day, the carpet…ugh the list goes on and on. 

Then there is the emotional toll of children.  Not only the one on one when they don’t listen, talk back, say hurtful things but watching them struggle with the social aspects of daily life.  Seeing them bullied, hearing them struggle with their self-esteem, social life, studies.  Trying to be patient as they learn how to be organized, how to pick up after themselves, how to pick up the seat so they don’t pee all over the seat.  All of these things are stressful and when you are the parent of two, count em, two kids with ADD/ADHD some of these items are all the more challenging. 

We could live in a small, tidy house, drive small cars, vacation more often and have a tidy sum in the bank, but we would have missed out on so much.  So much joy, so much adventure, so much love.  I have learned patience, I have learned to accept that I cannot control everything, I have learned how to accept defeat and how to stand firm when it’s necessary.  These are valuable lessons that have changed me in many different and positive ways.

I also would never feel complete.  I always wanted two children.  When I was in college my boyfriend didn’t want any children.  We were together for 3 years and I realized there was no future with this man who had a fundamentally different view of adult life.  It was painful, but for the best.  6 months later I met my husband who was a bit older than I and did indeed want children, with the right woman.  At one point when our second child was 6 months old and I thought our family was complete I got pregnant by accident (mini pill/breast feeding=oops!).  I was devastated.  This had not been my plan.  Just when my mind finally wrapped around the idea and accepted it, I lost it.   For about 2 years I felt incomplete.  I eventually recovered and am grateful for the two beautiful, healthy children that I do have, but knowing how that felt I can only imagine my regret if I had never had any children. 

While they are work, frustrating, and expensive, I wouldn’t trade them for the world.